Fear vs. Curiosity

[peterm]

All, I am a fairly long-time but infrequent ball pumper and occasional poster to this forum. (Some of my ball-pumping results are attached for resume purposes!) I have never experimented with saline but have become increasingly curious to try.

I would like to ask the advice of experienced saline infusors so that I can resolve an internal conflict that I am struggling with. On the one hand, the results that I see here (which are downright outstanding) have really gotten me curious/excited about saline and what I might be able to achieve. On the other hand, I am pretty conservative (not what I would describe as a Type A, risk-taking, damn the torpedoes kind of guy), not to mention a bit of a chicken s**t when it comes to needles and taking risks with my health.

Note that I have done a fair amount of research both here, at tigerpumping, etc. and even had a great coversation with someone from KinkyMedical. So I feel that I have done my homework and have a pretty realistic idea about what is involved, including what I feel are minimum risks (if you know what you are doing) and other pros and cons.

The curiosity side of my battle is easy. As a ball pumper, the idea of the "sudden" weight of +0.5liters between my legs, the resulting bulge, the ball stretch, and changes over the days following make this a "must try" for me.

The fear side is a bit more complicated:
1) From the health perspective, although the risks may be small, they do exist. Infection and a trip to the ER are high on my "Things to Avoid" List!
2) Mostly because of #1 above and partly because of my less than fond feelings about needles, I am leery about trying this the first time by myself. See the "chicken s**t" comment above.
3) Because of #3, that means I must find a willing and experienced mentor/sensei to teach me the ropes. But I am not so certain how comfortable I am doing something like this with someone that I met online and have "known" for, say, less than a week. See the "conservative, non-Type A" comments above.
4) My wife is unaware of my ball-pumping activities and frankly, no one knows of my "hobby." I am not sure that I am ready to share any of this with my wife now or anytime in the near future. Not wise, but once again the "chicken s**t" comment applies. So any medical problem that might develop that I could not handle discretely would also rank high on my "Things to Avoid" List!

I apologize for the long post, but I am interested in any words of advice and/or encouragement that anyone can provide. If there is anyone in the Southern California area (especially Los Angeles) that might be willing to be a mentor/sensei for my first try, please let me know. Perhaps we can begin a conversation, and if I grow comfortble enough, get something set up. Thanks for your patience with this post!

[egghead]

With a package like that, how is it possible that your wife hasn't found out and doesn't know?

Unless your relationship is different than the vast majority, honesty is the best policy. If you feel your wife just wouldn't understand, foregoing saline (even giving up pumping) may be one of the compromises you need to make in the interests of your relationship. Surely a relationship is worth more than a few days of odd but pleasureable behavior.

You're going to have to work the questions out within yourself.

[peterm]

Egghead, first thanks for the package compliment! My wife travels a lot so it is fairly easy for me to "bulk up" and be more or less back to normal by the time she gets home.

I really appreciate your candid comment and sage council about relationships, honesty, and this hobby. It is something that I am struggling with and must resolve. You provided solid advice....

And yes, these questions must be resolved myself. However, feedback such as yours is invaluable since it gives a different perspective that is worthy of serious thought. Thanks again.........

Finally, I've got to say it: Your avatar is a blast (pun intended)!

[stuart66]

apart from getting tired of all the crappy links and stuff that keep getting posted your situation is not unique.......
i was, and to an exten still am, a closet pumper with my wife.....
so i got a little tired of hiding everything all the time...especially the equipment.. so i started to leave it lying around in my study etc with the attitude if she finds it she shouldnt be snooping type thing even though my tubed etc were sitting on my desk... she has never asked me what they are but occasionally when she is out and texts me asking what i am doing i say i'm pumping......she doesnt understand why i do it and has never as yet tried it herself..i respect her choices as she repsects mine i guess......
this has been going on for two years and yes at times it is bloody frustrating...i havent got to the point where i am happy for her to 'walk' in to the study and see what i am doing i guess i am waiting for her to ask to watch..if that day will ever come....
now...with my increasing frustration of her non curiosity... i have been trying to time my pumping..i ball pump by the way ....with a night of intimacy with my wife...very tough on a timing front....however the other night i was fairly well pumped although not maxxed out and my wife and i were intimate...she has always liked playing with my balls but this night (she new i was upstairs pumping by the way) she seemed to love the feeling of my pumped balls... although she has never said anything yet!!!
i guess what i am trying to say is that i continue to be patient with her as she is with me...i would love her to get involved but at the end of the day if she doesnt want to then fine but she needs to also allow me to enjoy what i enjoy....
thats the basis of a relationship i believe..still allowing the other their indivduality......
so take it slow...let her know somehow you do it without having to speak aboutit initially....
you never know her reaction......and you will start to feel more comforatble but its a long and often frustrating road
good luck and i will let you know if i have any leaps ahead....

[peterm]

stuart66, thanks for sharing your experience and advice! Sounds like we operate in a similar way...I also have a "stash" of equipment more or less hidden out of the way. I do agree that it can be frustrating, and I am trying to find a good way to get this hobby out of the closet in a way that won't have her running out the front door. Much more preferable to have her running for the bedroom with me in tow! I will look forward to hearing of any future progress on your end and will share any that I may make as well..... Thanks again for your comments........